Bleach

This is my favorite shirt. I would wear this thing every single day if no judgement was passed by people who see me on a regular basis. 

Last week I wore this favored item to work and I went home looking like I rolled around in coffee grounds and basil pesto spread. I felt disgusting, repulsive.

Now stay with me for a second. 

Sometimes my walk with the Lord feels exactly like that white T. 

I'll start the day off bright white, trusting in Him, believing in Him then I make mistakes and get messy. I make decisions that either push me further away from Him or distract from His infinite goodness and love. 

When the realization of how far away I am sets in this usually leads into a crashing wave of shame and I make unrealistic promises like,"I'll never talk to another person again! I'll lock myself up in the house and never set eyes on anything but my Bible!" (If you think that was thrown in for the dramatics, you'd be wrong.) 

I was having this internal argument about how I should live my life and what exactly I should deem acceptable when He pretty much slapped me out of hysterics and pulled me to Romans 7:18

"For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out."

And 1 Peter 5:10

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

He knows I'm clumsy and He knows I'll fall down. Life happens- life gets dirty. I will make mistakes. There will be days that I trip over the hole in the floor and make a mess out of everything then spend the rest of the day feeling gross and covered in sludge. No use crying over spilled coffee(did I just say that?...), just bleach the crap out of that white T and flip the the switch to heavy duty. 

I'll never be so dirty that He can't put my life through the washing machine and remove every stain. On my own I fall, I fail and disappoint but through Him this call for an undivided heart is made possible. 

"You keep trying, you WILL make it." 

- inspirational texts from Mom